


Peace Among Trees

by PawneePorpoise



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of a Case, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Panicking Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:44:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PawneePorpoise/pseuds/PawneePorpoise
Summary: The one where Dean, Sam and Castiel hunt vampires in California and Dean runs from his feelings right into  Redwood National Park. Will the magical calm of the forest be enough to help him clear his head?





	Peace Among Trees

**Author's Note:**

> I recently took my own solo drive through Redwood National Park on a whim. I can't accurately describe how beautiful it was, to stand at the foot of something so large and old, yet feel not alone and small like I expected, but rather comforted and protected. While I was there spending a day in solitude, the thought of Dean coming to these same woods to make peace with his feelings spoke to me and I had to write it down. 
> 
> This short story is what came of that. Enjoy! xo

Dean Winchester was panicking. 

Well, presently he was driving. But the sudden urge to _escape, get away, fast _\- That was definitely a result of him panicking.__

__It was stupid really. A few days prior their lives had been nothing out of the ordinary. Sam reading the newspaper on a Wednesday afternoon, looking for new cases; Dean working on one of the cars in the garage; Castiel doing, well, whatever it was that Angels did in their downtime. Dean _was_ never quite sure where he went, all that mattered was that he always came back when they got a case._ _

__And they did find a case._ _

__A few unnatural deaths in Crescent City, California. Probably vampires but they’d need to inspect the bodies to be sure. And with it only being a little more than a day's drive (assuming they traded off) there was no reason not to go. So they did._ _

__After a quick call to Castiel, Sam packed their bags and pulled up the directions while Dean double checked the weapons stock and they were off. Before they knew it they’d arrived at their motel for the week and nothing out of the ordinary had happened._ _

__But then, well, everything out of the ordinary happened. They were right about the vampires, it was the victimology that was weird. All single men in their mid to late 30s. All vanishing after leaving the same karaoke bar. They’d never met a vamp exclusively feeding off karaoke-enthusiasts, but hey, first time for everything. That night they set up for a stake out of the bar in question, but just waiting for a victim to be pulled into the alley seemed like an inappropriate use of their time and they decided to split up. Sam and Dean played rock paper scissors over who had to go keep an eye out inside the place. Neither of them really wanting to, knowing from experience that it’d only be loud, but not good-music loud, really crappy drunk singing-loud. Cas for his part, didn’t care so much about the noise, could even use his Grace to tune it out if need be, plus his fascination with humanity didn’t seem to stop at Karaoke bars so he seemed more excited about going inside than he rightly should have been._ _

__A best of three rock-paper-scissors match later, found Dean sulking alongside Cas into the building. One of these days he was going to beat Sam at that game and have the last laugh. But today was not that day._ _

__They obviously had to blend in, and it was a karaoke bar so Dean and Cas had chosen some seats further to the back of the bar area and Dean picked up their first round of beers. He wasn’t too worried about drinking on the job, not that he really ever was, but for how long he figured they’d be there he’d need a lot more than a couple of beers to feel any of it._ _

__A few hours had gone by, each one the same. Dean and Cas making small talk to pass the time while keeping an eye on everyone else in the place, occasionally a group of girls and guys would float into their general vicinity and they’d have to brush off some less than innocent looks. Dean was used to this by now, I mean, he wasn’t stupid, he was an attractive dude, and Cas certainly could have chosen a worse looking vessel way back when. But they were working, so there’s really only so much _blending in_ he needed to do. _ _

__They began to branch out, trying to talk to some of the other (less interested) regulars to see if there was anyone suspicious who might fit the bill and they narrowed down their suspects to a guy everyone said went by the name “ _Len_ ”. They learned that he’d only been in town a few weeks, no one really saw him around except for in the bar, and he never really talked enough with any one group to get to know them._ _

__New in town, loner, only out at night. Yeah, that about checked off all the boxes on Dean’s _“You Might Be A Vampire If…”_ checklist. Texting Sam with an update, now all they really had to do was hang around and wait for him to show up. Which meant more drinking, and more avoiding any calls from the crowd for them to get up and sing. _ _

__Turns out as the night went on and the rest of the patrons got drunker they participated in a number of weird nightly traditions. One of which was, new guys have to sing. Dean and Cas had returned to the back of the crowd though, so for the most part everyone left them alone._ _

__Despite his typical professionalism on the job, that night, for a little while, Dean could almost imagine they weren’t on a case. That they weren’t in a town states away from home just waiting for an undead monster to show up and ruin someone’s night. It wasn’t that he and Cas really had much to talk about, but that was just it really. They weren’t saying anything important at all and yet Dean was having a good time. Yeah, he wished Sam were there too, but knowing his brother, Sam was ten chapters deep into an audio book at this point, enjoying whatever’s left of that quinoa kale monstrosity he’d picked up for dinner._ _

__Another 15 minutes or so had passed in idle conversation before the crowd started making more of a commotion. Apparently after 11pm dancing became part of the agenda for the karaoke singers as they pushed all the smaller tables and chairs out of the center of the floor to make room. One by one couples and friend groups stood up and suddenly the small town bar turned into a nightclub atmosphere. And amidst all of it, Dean and Castiel were the only ones left seated at a table. But that wouldn’t last long._ _

__The crowd, some of whom they had spoken with earlier in the night, flooded towards them, almost forcibly pulling them from their booth and onto the dance floor. Dean managed to grab his glass, he’s switched to Whiskey at this point, and down the rest before he was shuttled along right into the middle of the lights and music._ _

__On a normal night, he would have been out of the door. But they still had a job to do and the vamp, or at least their best lead on a vamp, hadn’t shown up yet, so he played along. Just because Dean didn’t frequent places where dancing was on the menu didn’t mean he hadn’t developed some skills throughout his life._ _

__Castiel on the other hand - well, Dean did everything in his power to stifle a laugh at his friend’s horrified face as a group of women they’d started the night talking with were trying to get him to take off his coat and join the fray. The poor guy looked like a lost puppy, and for a split second Dean had a glimpse into the past, reminded of a late night at a, _Den of Inequity_ (Cas’ word for it). _ _

__Taking pity on the Angel, Dean worked his way through the crowd over to him with the intent of drawing the attention away from Cas’ coat, but when he got there and the group of women saw him approach, they all slipped back into the crowd with knowing looks and without a word of comment. Yeah, he thought it was weird, but him and Cas had been talking all night, surely they knew he was a friend and must have figured Cas was in good company therefore no longer needing their help. What other reason would they have to suddenly shy away?_ _

__The worry and awkwardness on Cas’ face had dissipated when Dean stopped before him, and he tried to talk but it was just so loud now. Dean couldn’t understand a word he’d said over a drunken rendition of _“Don’t Stop Believin’”_. So in hindsight, it was definitely a combination of the alcohol and mostly the difficulty hearing that had him leaning right up into Cas’ personal space, ear turned towards his mouth, to get an idea of what Cas was trying to get across. _ _

__And it was only afterwards, on his car ride that Dean would realize that after he heard Cas mention not knowing how to dance in a way that was _conducive to this type of music_ , and he turned back towards Cas to reply, did he notice just how close they were standing. And more importantly than standing, how close they were talking, as he opened his mouth to speak and upon being bumped into from behind actually ended up more like breathing the words directly into Cas’ ear with the side of their faces pressed together. _ _

__That alone should have been the most awkward thing that happened that night. And that alone wouldn’t have been cause for Dean to panic and literally run away like a damn child. But that alone wasn’t the only thing that happened between them._ _

__Dean pulled back as soon as he realized how inappropriate that whole little conversation probably felt to Cas and he was about to apologize when the speed of the music drastically slowed and a new singer rose to the microphone. Both of their attention was drawn to the blonde man on stage, as he spoke to the audience._ _

___“Alright ladies and gentlemen, you know what time it is. Grab your dance partner and get real close. This next one goes out to all of that young love out there, here’s to many more dances like this one.”_ _ _

__If Dean thought the dance floor was crowded before, it was nothing compared to how fast the walls of people closed in around them as one by one they all paired up and began the slow weaves back and forth to the sound of the music. Around the same time Dean and Cas snapped their attention back on each other they realized they were the only ones standing in the middle of everyone decidedly not dancing. So much for blending in._ _

__But it was _just_ a dance. It didn’t have to be weird, right? So Dean, figuring he’d be the one to make this less awkward by playing along like it was a totally normal thing for them to do in a day’s work made the first move. He slid forward into Cas’ space again, though, not quite as close this time, and lightly rested his hand on Cas’ waist, the other outstretched palm up, waiting for Cas to take the hint. _ _

__Clearly unsure of himself, but thankfully not asking any questions, Cas slowly raised his hand and placed it on top of Deans. Watching this next part through the lens of hindsight, Dean really should have been more aware of how not-their-normal this was. But in the moment, music loud and slow, surrounded by a room full of strangers rocking back and forth to the beat, Dean was a little lost in the wide blue eyes looking up at him. So when he put Cas’ other hand up on his shoulder, pulled him a little closer, and joined in the back and forth swaying, it was mostly just him acting on instinct. Okay, instinct and maybe a few other repressed emotions he was only now starting to name._ _

__They danced in their own little bubble for a good portion of the song, both using the case as an excuse to look past each other, still surveying the room. But at some point, the reality of their situation set in for Dean, and he realized Cas hadn’t said a single word during this whole interaction. And what if Cas wasn’t alright with this? Dean didn’t really even ask before pulling him into this awkward situation. What if he just messed everything up and as soon as the case is over Cas flies away and Dean doesn’t have a chance to just explain it was all for show?_ _

__But if he was being honest with himself, _was_ it all for show? Dean wasn’t really feeling awkward, and Cas didn’t even try to pull away and out of his arms but he should still try to check in on this whole situation right? _ _

__Pulling back slightly Dean managed to catch Cas’ eye and immediately knew his mistake. _Abort, abort, abort!_ his brain was screaming at him but it was too late. Standing this close he was enthralled in that weird magnetism that seemed to plague him and Cas over the years. It took a few seconds longer than strictly necessary before he managed to choke out a lame excuse for conversation. _ _

__“You, uh- see the vamp kid around yet?” And God, he did not mean for that to come out so breathless._ _

__Cas didn’t even manage to form a spoken reply, just barely shaking his head back and forth. Of course Dean already knew the answer, Cas would have spoken up if the guy had appeared. But now here they were again, with no conversation to save them, just this game of staring into each other’s core. Maybe Dean was imagining it but did Cas lean more of his weight into Dean’s arms, and wait- was Cas’ face somehow getting closer? Why did it feel like a magnet pull he wasn’t able to break out of? And huh, what’s wrong with his vision? Oh, that’s just his eyelids fluttering closed in response to Cas doing the same?_ _

__Heartbeat overpowering the thrum of bass in his ears, Dean’s entire focus was reduced to a single point in all of space and time when he felt a soft exhale pass from Cas’ lips to his own, millimeters away._ _

__But then it happened._ _

__Years of hunting had made it so Dean was always at least on some subconscious thread aware of what was happening around him. And just at that moment, his ears picked up a group talking behind him to someone who had just joined in. But it wasn’t until he heard the name, _Len_ , that he snapped back to reality, unceremoniously dropping Cas’ hands and whirring into action._ _

__It only took a moment of searching the crowd for him to spot the guy. He was maybe 10 feet away, a pale lanky guy in a leather jacket heading with another guy over to the bar. Dean took off towards him without even checking to see if Cas was following behind. He wasn’t about to risk seeing whatever expression Cas had on his face._ _

__The rest of that night as it pertains to the case was a blur. Dean and Cas getting the guy out into the alley under the guise of heading to an after party, then subsequently confirming he was indeed the vamp and dispatching him without any issues. Sam offered to get rid of the body since Dean and Cas had done most of the work so far that night, so as he drove off in a stolen car with a trunk full of dead vamp, they got back in the Impala and drove wordlessly to the hotel. The tension on that short ride was thicker than Dean ever experienced in his life._ _

__Maybe they could just forget what it was that almost happened. Dean really thought if no one said anything, neither of them brought it up, that they’d continue on as they had, as friends none-the-wiser. But as they pulled into the parking spot outside, and Cas opened his mouth, Dean knew that hope was nothing more than another unfulfilled fantasy._ _

___“Dean, should we talk about-”_ _ _

___“About what, Cas?”_ Dean blurted out. More curt than necessary really. He knew Cas didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing had even happened. But, it almost happened, whatever it was. And the fact that Dean wasn’t sure if he was glad or upset that it actually didn’t was freaking him out. Words like _overreact_ and _gay panic_ flooded his mind. Things he’d heard Sam say jokingly over the years about one person or another, and then suddenly he remembered Sam. Oh god, what would Sam say about this, even though there wasn’t really anything to tell him. _ _

__Cas was looking directly at him now Dean realized, though he kept his own eyes straight ahead directed out of the windshield. _“About, what almost hap-”__ _

___“Cas, just go inside. I have to go do something.”_ Dean knew he was panicking. Decades of avoidance when it came to his feelings (and this was definitely very much about feelings) had forced him into fight or flight mode. And more often than not, it was flight when it came to these things. Cas deserved better, he knew that, but at that moment, the weight of the potential direction that conversation could be headed, he didn’t have it in him to finish the discussion. _ _

__The door was barely shut on the passenger side before Dean threw it into reverse and left the motel behind. He wasn’t even sure where he was going at that point, but the sun would be up in a few hours and he wasn’t the slightest bit tired. So when he saw the signs for Redwood Highway, he took it and didn’t stop to think about turning back._ _

__Now though, it was a little while later and his initial panic had turned into latent guilt at how unfairly he’d handled the situation. What was his problem anyway? He knew Cas wasn’t trying to push him into anything, or even force a discussion, he was probably just as confused about the whole thing as Dean. If not more so, really. Dean’s big secret was that he was pretty clear with himself on his feelings for his best friend. And they were definitely more than friendly, as much as he hadn’t dared to voice them outloud._ _

__But Cas, he didn’t want any part of this right? He was just there for the hunt, just there to get a job done then fly off again to wherever it was he went on important Angel business. At least Dean assumed it was angel business, he never really thought to ask. Regardless, Cas wouldn’t consider Dean as a romantic interest so Dean never brought it up, lest he ruin their friendship._ _

__About the time the sun was slowly rising, settling a mist across the landscape as the Earth began to warm, Dean crossed into Redwood National Park and on impulse pulled the Impala off to the side of the road amongst the trees._ _

__At this hour, he knew it was unlikely he’d see any other drivers on the road, in fact he hadn’t in miles, and with the mist rising from the ground and the sheer size of the trees the whole place had a magical quality to it. Getting out of the car, thinking that some fresh air might help get his thoughts under control, Dean wandered a little further into the woods._ _

__He’s heard about these Redwood trees of course. Seen a nature documentary or two on them in a motel room here and there over the years, but no photographs or film footage could have prepared him for what it was like to stand at the base of such a tree. In the pre-morning glow of the Earth, these trees rose like ancient beings, strong yet soft with their mossy green exteriors, towering over all others who enter their land._ _

__It was a funny thing really. Dean Winchester, the legendary hunter that he was made out to be, was actually used to feeling small from time to time. That used to not be the case, but at some point when he learned about Angels, met Lucifer and Michael, then later God and his sister Amara, well, it became easier for him to understand that Humans didn’t rank particularly high on the totem pole in his day to day life. But that feeling, standing next to an angry Chuck, or seconds from being obliterated by Raphael, that feeling was small laced with _fear_. And he was man enough to admit that a healthy level of fear was necessary when fighting with something as ancient and powerful as say, the Darkness. _ _

__But here, standing at the foot of these Redwoods, the smallness he felt was accompanied by an overwhelming sense of _comfort_. And that was unexpected, for there were not many things that Dean Winchester felt comforted by that were this much larger than himself. But this place was one of those things._ _

__This place with it's quiet stillness that you can only find when you’re truly the sole person around for miles. This place covered in a quilt of mossy greens and burnt oranges, smelling of rain and what Dean imagined must be ozone. This place where he was surrounded but it felt more like he was being enveloped, comforted in this protected sacred ancient place. These trees may not have been alive in the same way that he was but here, walking amongst their roots, in their space, their protected forest, he felt something inside him shift. The tension he’d been carrying both physically and emotionally spun loose on it’s coil, until he could breathe in unencumbered for once._ _

__And he wasn’t afraid. He sat at the base of one particular tree. Near enough to the road that he could still see his baby glistening in the morning rays of sunlight filtering through, but far enough that he could pretend there was no road that carried him here. Because the funny thing about roads is sometimes the ones you take aren’t the obvious ones paved and laid before your feet._ _

__His thoughts inevitably drifted back to this whole thing with Cas. How did he end up here? At what point did what he felt for the guy turn from disdain to acceptance to kinship to something even stronger? And when did he first suspect that he wasn’t alone in those feelings? Because if he was truly honest with himself, a rare occurrence mind you, he knew Castiel’s feelings for him were different than Cas’ feelings for Sam, or anyone else for that matter. Afterall, enemies and friends alike had been dropping hints about it for years, and yet he brushed off those comments as nothing more than words said to get a rise out of him._ _

__But the longer their friendship persisted, despite all the trials it was put through, the longer the looks were held between them, and longer the touches would linger, the more his suspicions were confirmed. Whatever these feelings were (he wasn’t able, even alone in his thoughts, to put the L word on it yet) he knew Cas felt the same way._ _

__But doing something about that was dangerous. Reckless in a way he hadn’t been since Lisa, and he cringes to think about how that turned out. All that could come of it would be more pain when someone found out and used it as a bargaining piece during a hunt. When Castiel realized Dean was forever damaged goods and no amount of saving people or hunting things was going to fix that stain on his soul. When Dean’s own bad habits drove Cas away because even as an Angel there is only so much Dean was sure Cas would be able to take. And his constant drinking, limited sleeping and overall gruffness when it came to voicing his feelings would surely end them before they began._ _

__Actually, it probably already did. As Dean remembered the look on Cas’ face in his rearview mirror as he tore out of the parking lot earlier. Damn, he owed him an apology. But if he did that, he’d have to talk about what happened earlier. Ugh, maybe Dean could just stay here forever. It was calming and he’d never had to face any of his screw-ups._ _

__And what did happen earlier? They almost kissed, that’s what. Dean wasn’t new to this particular rodeo. The drinking and dancing, it was basically every cliche first date of any number of romantic comedies and he let himself walk Cas right into it. But had Dean wanted that the whole time? Was he just looking for an excuse to kiss Cas and have something to blame it on when the feeling wasn’t reciprocated? Did it even matter now that the moment was over?_ _

__All this thinking was wearing him out but even Dean knew it would be stupid to fall asleep out here in the woods. The drive back to the hotel would take hours though and he was really exhausted now that he thought about it. There was of course a quicker way to get back. But that would involve talking to Cas so maybe he would have to man up and get this over with._ _

__For a few minutes, he took in the silence and sanctity of this little piece of the world he’d stumbled into. Breathing slow and deep. Until at least his head was clear and calm, and he’d decided against all odds, that it was time for him to face himself, his thoughts._ _

___Now or never_ he whispered._ _

__Closing his eyes, as he did for some reason when he prayed to Cas, he sent out a message asking for him to show up in the woods. He hadn’t even finished his sentence before he heard the telltale flapping of wings and felt the whoosh blow a crisp mountain breeze in his direction._ _

__Opening his eyes, he forgot how to breathe. Cas was standing a few feet away, hair windswept in a million different directions, tie flipped up over his shoulder, directly in the path of a beam of sun creeping through the tall branches illuminating him in an ethereal glow. He’d seen Cas arrive in this way at least a hundred times, but these woods heightened the magical quality of all things, and his Angel celestial in a way Dean hadn’t noticed in a long time._ _

__Dean must have been staring for too long because Cas began to look, was that _self conscious_. Fixing his tie, well it was still backwards, but not over his shoulder, and trying to pat down his hair while smoothing out his coat. _ _

__And that little bit of awkwardness was all Dean needed to have that last puzzle piece settle into place. That this Angel of the Lord, being of celestial grace, could be nervous about what Dean, run-of-the-mill hunter, Winchester could be thinking about him was insane on a level Dean couldn’t fathom._ _

__Still seated at the base of the Redwood, Dean looked up at Cas moving towards him and holding out his hand to help Dean up. Effortlessly Cas pulled him into a standing position, but Dean couldn’t let go of Cas’ hand even after it was no longer necessary for his own balance._ _

__Instead, in a move he hoped Cas would understand, Dean pulled their joined hands forward, the quick tug catching Cas off guard causing him to fall easily into Dean’s open arms. They’d hugged before, sure. In times of reacquaintance after separation where at least one thought the other was surely dead. But this wasn’t that hug. As Cas snapped out of his initial surprise as Dean’s quick movement, his arms coming up to circle around Dean’s torso, just the right amount of strength in his grasp. Dean realized this wasn’t a hug at all. Cas was certainly holding him, and Dean leaned forward hiding his face in the safety of Cas’ neck._ _

__“Cas, there’s just something I need to say and it's just- Just let me say it like this, okay?” Dean mumbled into the small space between them. He knew Cas probably wanted to look at his face, but as much courage as he had to build up to this point, he wasn’t confident he’d be able to get through what he wanted to say if he had to look Cas in the eye._ _

__There was a pause where Dean was sure Cas was going to pull out of his grasp, because this was ridiculous wasn’t it? Here he was, a grown man, hiding his face in the shoulder of another grown man, or angel, _close enough_ , because he was too afraid to spill his feelings straight to his face. _ _

__But then Cas breathed out softly, “I understand, Dean”. And Dean’s courage swelled once again._ _

__“Okay, yeah- thanks Cas. Earlier, at the bar. I know things got- carried away, more than just the cover for the case. I get it. I should have been smarter than that but it’s just- For a moment, for a few hours, I could see it.” Trailing off at this point, Dean’s anxiety won out. Maybe he’d already said too much. Maybe Cas was already over this and Dean was making an idiot out of himself for nothing._ _

__His doubts doubled when Cas gently shifted his arms, in what Dean was sure was going to be an effort to push him away. But instead a sure palm slid slowly up his back, resting at just the base of his neck. Fingers tentatively combing through the short hairs at the base of his head._ _

__This small gesture, calming in ways Dean didn’t want to analyze just yet, redoubled his resolve. And he forged on, answering the silent question Cas was too considerate to ask out loud._ _

__“I could imagine that we weren’t just on some shitty case and that we could just hang out, like friends are supposed to be able to do.” The split second tense of Cas’ body at the word _friends_ didn’t escape Dean’s notice, but he was getting to his point and couldn’t stop now. _ _

__“But then hell, I don’t know maybe it was too many drinks, or I tried to blame it on the crowd and the music, but I- I just got pulled into this moment and I let my fe- christ Cas, my feelings, get in the way and almost messed everything up. So I’m sorry, okay? We can pretend this never happened, even though nothing happened, just, I don’t want to- I can’t- **you** can’t...” and when he trailed off this time, Dean was well and truly out of words to say. _ _

__For a few terrifying seconds, Castiel was silent. Dean was sure the small family he managed to carve out for himself was about to be ruined again by his own stupidity, and he’d have to explain to Sam why Cas wasn’t willing to help them anymore. But, well, the Angel did always defy the expectations._ _

__Tugging gently on the hairs his finger’s had been carding through, Cas brought Dean’s head slowly up off his shoulder, so they could meet eye to eye. At first, Dean kept his eyes closed, unable to face the look of pity or disgust he knew he’d see in Cas’ stare if he opened them._ _

__But when Cas whispered _Dean_ and he heard an unexpected tone of- _wonder?_ he had to see for himself. They were standing so close again. Just like earlier that night during the moment that started this whole thing, but in the early dawn glow Cas’ eyes really were celestial. Dean would swear for the rest of his life that he could see the tendrils of Grace flowing through the Angel in that moment._ _

__“Dean,” Cas began again, his words so quiet, so soft, as if not to spook the frightened animal Dean knew himself to be at that moment. “What feelings, Dean? Tell me what you meant by your ‘feelings’.”_ _

__If it was anyone else, that Dean had a more difficult time reading that could have been a terrifying question. But this close, and with Cas, there was no way Dean could have missed the genuine interest, confusion, and no, it couldn’t be- hope, in that question._ _

__He responded before his brain even caught up to what his mouth was saying. “My feelings for you Cas. I- I care about you.” And as soon as the words left his mouth he felt the heat rising to the tips of his ears._ _

__And here, in the middle of Dean’s embarrassment at sharing something so personal, Cas, for all that he is and all that he isn’t, chose this very moment to laugh right in Dean’s face._ _

__The slight quirk of Cas’ mouth told Dean he was really trying not to, and it wasn’t a biting hurtful laugh, in fact Dean would categorize it more as a giggle (as unmanly as that sounded, it kind of fit the Angel odd enough). And he realized quickly after that, Cas wasn’t laughing at _him_ , but rather he might have just finally snapped because tears were welling in Cas’ eyes, he was giggling so hard, and it turned out to be infectious. _ _

__It was really only a horrified few seconds where Dean stared back at Cas blankly, unsure if he should be offended that his vomiting of feelings results in this reaction, until he was suddenly laughing- okay well definitely also giggling, but no one would ever know about this aside from Cas- right along with him._ _

__They both had tears in their eyes but were still held close in a joint embrace when Cas finally calmed down, and Dean ran a thumb across his cheek on instinct, trying to wipe a stray tear away. The motion drew them back down to Earth and into the bubble of Serious Feelings™ they’d previously been in._ _

__“Cas, what?” Dean began, but was immediately cut off by Cas’ cupping the sides of his face with warm flat open palms, and pulling Dean forward into a chaste kiss. It happened so quickly Dean’s only real reaction was to slam his eyes shut and grasp weakly at the lapels of Cas’ coat._ _

__But as Cas pulled back, only just enough for either of them to focus on the other, his smile was blinding. And Dean felt that maybe something _had_ burst inside Castiel during his fit of laughter, but that something had been relief, and not disgust or discomfort. _ _

__“I care about you too, Dean. Even though at times you are infuriatingly vague about your intentions.” And Cas’ words didn’t even hold a hint of chastisement in their tone._ _

__Unable to keep even the small distance between them for too long, Dean leaned back in for another quick meeting of lips, before pulling back this time blinding Cas with his own uncontrollable smile. He definitely looked like a crazy person right now. Tear tracks still visible from his laughter, damp spot on his jeans from where he sat on the forest floor, goofy grin splitting his face. Yeah, not Dean’s suavest moment to be sure._ _

__But Cas didn’t seem to care. His eyes held levels of emotion Dean didn’t think he’d ever seen directed at him. Relief and hope sure, joy, maybe some want, and something else that he wasn’t quite ready to call out, but that he knew was mirrored in his own gaze._ _

__“So, Cas, does this mean we’re?”, gesturing vaguely between them with a nod of his head, Dean let Cas frame this shift in their relationship first._ _

__“We’re whatever we want to be Dean. It is clear we both _care_ about each other.” Dean didn’t miss the way Cas stressed the word care, like he’d rather have chosen another word in it’s place but didn’t for Dean’s own sake at the present time. “And, we’re friends, best friends even if I haven’t been incorrect in assuming so.” Dean nodded immediately. Cas was breaking the mold in a lot of ways for Dean. He’d never had a best friend growing up, considering how much they moved around, so Cas was certainly his best if only friend. “So, the only thing that really changes, from my perspective, is I’d like to be able to show you how I feel about you without being limited in my actions. If you’re comfortable with that of course.” _ _

__While Cas waited for Dean’s reply, Dean studied his eyes for any indication of what Cas was really asking for here. Even though this was new and their time standing in this embrace was short, Dean was finding it remarkably comforting just to hold Cas like this. And couldn’t imagine having to go back to a relationship where that would be unacceptable between them. And those chaste, the two kisses they’d shared in these woods were something magical in their own right (as cheesy as he knew that thought was). And to go back to a time where he couldn’t wake up in the morning and drop a kiss on Cas’ forehead, or give him a peck on the cheek when returning home from the store, well, that just wasn’t something he wanted at all._ _

__So while he could see Cas wasn’t pressuring him into any major changes in their daily behavior, Dean _wanted_ there to be a few at least. And the knowledge that the realization didn’t leave him paralyzed with fear bolstered his response. _ _

__“I’d like that Cas. Not having to hold back anymore. Doing, uh- just being ourselves, but together. If uh, that makes any sense at all.” Dean was trying his best at this whole using his words thing, but it still wasn’t his forte._ _

__“What about Sam?” Cas asked, but still his expression held no preconceived expectations of Dean’s response._ _

__“He’ll just have to deal with us I guess. I’m pretty sure I have a few times to get back at him for misuse of our shared hotel room. So, uh, this could be fun.” And Dean realized the ease with which that response flowed meant he really wasn’t worried about how Sam would react._ _

__That albeit small, distance between them was nagging at him again, so Dean leaned forward to kiss Cas once more. This time Cas drew him in for longer, leaning his full weight against Dean until they both fell backwards the few inches into the side of a tree. Cas’ hands slide up Dean’s sides slowly, until he once again cupped Dean’s face, tilting his head at the desired angle before turning their kiss into some more heated than Dean originally intended._ _

__But he certainly wasn’t complaining. Dean wasn’t sure how long he was kept pressed into the base of that giant Redwood but with every meeting of kiss-swollen lips, smoothing of thumbs across hard jawlines, and gasping of breaths in-between, he felt the remainder of the worry and weight around his heart lift and melt away._ _

__Their touches eventually calmed back down and at some point Cas actually pulled away from Dean giving him the first chance to really take in the image of Castiel, red lips, wet and swollen from excessive use, eyes shiny with warmth yet pupils wide, hair more of a mess than usual no thanks to Dean’s wandering hands, all framed by the wonder of the trees looming over them allowing only rays of sunlight here and there to filter through. It was one of the most beautiful things Dean had ever seen, and he didn’t realize he’s whispered that out loud until Cas ducked his head in an attempt to hid a shy smile._ _

__Pulling Cas close again in a hug this time just because he could, Dean spoke softly, directly into Cas’ ear._ _

__“Let’s go home, Castiel.”_ _

__They’d never really know what their future together would look like, but for the first time in his life Dean felt like maybe he’d gotten a win without having to make any sacrifices, or choose between any one thing he cared about. He had his brother, his angel, and his home. What more could he really ask for?_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. If you haven't been and you ever get the chance in life to visit the redwoods your self and walk through the forest I highly recommend it. 
> 
> Hope you liked my little fluffy ending to this mildly angsty piece. Leave me a comment if there was something you liked or didn't like. I appreciate all feedback!
> 
> <3 Until next time, xo.


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